Growing up homosexual was not easy. This aspect of my identity was simply not appealing to so many others, leaving me aching for a sense of connection. So, as a little baby queer, I discovered this in shows about the otherworldly. These series provided a sense of escape from the harsh world that I had grown to know. You see, my dear, kind reader, when one does not feel like they fit in anywhere, they may feel compelled to create a plethora of storylines or scenarios that make this thing called existence worthwhile.
One of these series that offered both an escape and comfort was “Charmed,” which debuted on The WB in 1998. Before we had the option of pausing to pee, I was riveted to my television every Thursday night, wanting, hoping, and praying that my life would somehow resemble what I watched on screen.
Prue Halliwell, played by Shannen Doherty, was an important figure in the show for me. Doherty, who died of cancer this week, was an advocate for individualism, which she brought to her character on the show. “Charmed” featured the lives of three quietly powerful sisters (also known as the Charmed Ones) who were joined together by magic and tasked with rescuing the world regularly.
A world where magic reigned supreme and individuals who never fit in saved the day? After watching the first episode, I was captivated.
As homosexual guys, we are taught, both explicitly and implicitly, that being ourselves is unacceptable. As a result, many of us conceal our true sexualities as we go through life, eventually becoming the individuals the universe meant us to be. This is where the wonderful TV series come into play. Prue and her sisters allowed us the freedom to build a reality in which we were the architects of our own destiny, all while adding a touch of glam.
See, accepting who I truly was has not always been a smooth journey in life. There were slivers. My parents, whom I adore, tried their best with what they knew, but I still faced outside obstacles from folks I considered family. My mother was and continues to be one of the most inspiring examples of strength and perseverance I know, thus I’ve always preferred programming with strong female characters. So “Charmed” had three? It was yet another reason to stick with the show.
When we consume media as children, we don’t realise how influential it might be on who we are as adults. I never expected that I would unwittingly model my life like Doherty’s role in the series. Her fiery personality, stubborn habits, and, at times, know-it-all attitude continue to influence me to this day.
And, while the concept of a Black man modelling himself after a white woman may shock you, please stick with me. Back then, magical characters resembling us were rare, if not nonexistent. So we focused on characteristics rather than race. As contentious as this may seem, when your back is against the wall and people who should be your family are not around, survival takes on a whole new meaning.
You know, in most — if not all — of my closest homosexual male friendships, I am the eldest and identify with Doherty’s character, Prue. I am the protective one, as well as the blunt one with a fiery personality who tends to speak his mind and express his opinions even when I know they are not the most digestible. Finally, Prue and her sisters reaffirmed my admiration for the powerful female personalities in my life.
Whether they are your biological or chosen family, “Charmed” emphasised the value of surrounding oneself with similarly unique people who have your best interests at heart. The sisters in the series had the “power of three,” which demonstrated to me that, while you may be capable, your greatest strength resides with people you consider family. Series like this shown that we can find community anywhere—and prosper together.
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